What is your strategy?

Thanks to Paul Williams at Brand Autopsy for this post about a marketing agency satire website. I think their strategy could have been written for lawyers:

Our main strategy is to convince people that we do stuff they can't do themselves, and that we deserve lots of money for it. The best way to do this is to always look good, and always sound like we know something you don't. If you're still not convinced, we'll show you lots of market research and cost analysis and global positioning strategy reports to confuse you and hopefully convince you that we're so knowledgeable you couldn't possibly succeed without us. Because you can't. So don't even try.

I personally like their take on solutions:

When we deliver your new business strategies to you, they'll be in really snazzy binders that look nice sitting on big, round meeting tables, so you'll know you got your money's worth. When your project has been completed, we'll give you several follow-up phone calls to give the appearance that we even remember who you are or what we sold you.

And client satisfaction:

Our clients are always satisfied with our service. If you knew who any of them were, you could confirm this for yourself, but, since you don't, you'll just have to take our word on this one too. Client satisfaction is always our first priority. Well...actually...maybe something like third or fourth. But we really do take care of our clients. More or less, anyway.